The scene: Me, driving home from the shoe store after finding two pairs of shoes that I really liked (something RARE here in Georgia) and that were pretty cheap as well as finding a drawstring Nike bag for $12. Singing along to music in the car. Calling Jorge and leaving an amusing (in my opinion) voicemail. Thinking about how my life here in Georgia is now Mine and I Live Here and this is Home. Thinking about how when I get home I'm going to blog about the nice, pleasant changes that have occurred over the last months. Thinking about my new puppy sleeping on the floor next to Chase napping on the couch. Smiling.
Then: I walked in the door, turned on the light and looked to the spot I left the puppy (Linux or Linny from here on out) only to see more floor. I woke up Chase and asked where Linny was and after telling me she was under the coffee table I picked her up to put her on my lap to find that her underbelly was wet. Suspiciously wet. Annoyed that my good mood had been temporarily derailed I went hunting for the mess, and found it, and rubbed Linny's nose in it.
Then some more: And googled potty training tips for puppies and read (multiple times) that I'm not supposed to rub her nose in it. I'm not supposed to express frustration with her. I'm supposed to put her in a safe place, clean it up and move on.
The problem with this: I'm no good at this new mom thing. I scold her for whining when she's tired, I put a leash on her when she's too young for a leash (according to Cesar (whom I love)), and I punish her for peeing inside (sometimes... sometimes I don't get upset).
Stupid Resolution: I guess I should be upset with Chase or myself. Instead of assuming she'd stay asleep, I should have crated her or had Chase wake up to watch her. I should have been more attentive.
BLAH: I wanted to post about happy things but I turn around (almost daily it seems) and there's something else I've messed up for Linux. I know there's always tomorrow but I can't help but think about the habits that are being formed now. The relationship we're building. My good mood hasn't been totally derailed but the direction's changed and the post I wanted to write will have to wait.
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In other news: I ended up emailing the summer camp and letting them know that I'd taken the other job and got a really pleasant reply from the girl I'd been talking with. I think it helps that I arbitrarily set the date for when I'd get back to her about the job and then only two days later changed my mind.
-J
