Just two more papers,
This year will be behind me.
Wait. Write before play.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Friday, April 16, 2010
Georgia: An Update
It turns out that Spring in Georgia makes up for the lack of snow, the drizzling rain and some of the blah that is the tall, skinny pines. There are flowers everywhere. It seems like every bush is blooming. It's either been this week or last week or will probably be this coming week... April here is beautiful. It's like being in a garden 24/7, no matter where I am in town.
Dude. I've been BUSY. I feel like I'm doing well in school. I'm definitely learning a lot this semester. I'm taking a methods course and have ENJOYED IT SO MUCH. I feel like I know what I'm looking for in articles and I'm getting so that I can really critique articles based on what's in them, not what they make me feel. I feel like I can have a real conversation about what I'm reading and not only convey my ideas to others but be on the same page as them... the right page. So that's awesome.
In methods we've been working on developing our thesis/project ideas as well and it's starting to feel like my Master's thesis is actually going to be DOABLE and enjoyable. Months ago I would have laughed at this optimistic version of myself... now though, I believe it.
I'm really excited about the summer. About being able to read the stuff I want to without being responsible for any other reading. So far I've got about 8 books I want to read. And I want to start out the summer by going to the ocean, though I might be too poor for that. If I can't do that right away, I'd love to spend my birthday there. Mmmm.
I haven't written here in awhile, I'm sorry. I've had visitors (7 people in 3 weeks), my Grandpa passed away and I had to fly home for the funeral, and I'm starting to grow my own group of friends here. I don't feel like I'm missing out on life as much... I'm building a new life. I'm growing closer to a student a year ahead of me and it really reminds me of a friendship I had the fall I worked at the Buckle. That friendship rocked in so many ways but made me wary of the future in so many others... I find the similarities between the two situations to be a good reminder of the type of friendship I want to cultivate; the kind of friend I want to be.
I've got two papers left before the end of the semester and I really need to sit down and right them. At this time last semester I was feeling lost and overwhelmed and had no idea where I needed to take my major class paper but this semester is really different. I'm growing. There are scads of places I need to improve upon to be at the place I want to be right now but compared to 4 months ago? I rock.
(P.S. It's rarely WINDY here, the sun is blinding, I'm playing tennis more but working out less, driving is annoying, and right now I have no desire to travel unless it's to the beach. I'm ready for a break, I need to build up my travel bug. And I need a gym that feels like home.)
Dude. I've been BUSY. I feel like I'm doing well in school. I'm definitely learning a lot this semester. I'm taking a methods course and have ENJOYED IT SO MUCH. I feel like I know what I'm looking for in articles and I'm getting so that I can really critique articles based on what's in them, not what they make me feel. I feel like I can have a real conversation about what I'm reading and not only convey my ideas to others but be on the same page as them... the right page. So that's awesome.
In methods we've been working on developing our thesis/project ideas as well and it's starting to feel like my Master's thesis is actually going to be DOABLE and enjoyable. Months ago I would have laughed at this optimistic version of myself... now though, I believe it.
I'm really excited about the summer. About being able to read the stuff I want to without being responsible for any other reading. So far I've got about 8 books I want to read. And I want to start out the summer by going to the ocean, though I might be too poor for that. If I can't do that right away, I'd love to spend my birthday there. Mmmm.
I haven't written here in awhile, I'm sorry. I've had visitors (7 people in 3 weeks), my Grandpa passed away and I had to fly home for the funeral, and I'm starting to grow my own group of friends here. I don't feel like I'm missing out on life as much... I'm building a new life. I'm growing closer to a student a year ahead of me and it really reminds me of a friendship I had the fall I worked at the Buckle. That friendship rocked in so many ways but made me wary of the future in so many others... I find the similarities between the two situations to be a good reminder of the type of friendship I want to cultivate; the kind of friend I want to be.
I've got two papers left before the end of the semester and I really need to sit down and right them. At this time last semester I was feeling lost and overwhelmed and had no idea where I needed to take my major class paper but this semester is really different. I'm growing. There are scads of places I need to improve upon to be at the place I want to be right now but compared to 4 months ago? I rock.
(P.S. It's rarely WINDY here, the sun is blinding, I'm playing tennis more but working out less, driving is annoying, and right now I have no desire to travel unless it's to the beach. I'm ready for a break, I need to build up my travel bug. And I need a gym that feels like home.)
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Accumulation of Knowledge
Things have been going well lately. I'm feeling a lot more at ease this semester and I feel a lot more like I "fit" here in grad school. It seems like it's just a matter of time before I accumulate ALL OF THIS KNOWLEDGE and am SMART and KNOW THINGS and feel invincible.
In the meantime, set backs remind me how far from INVINCIBLE I really am. I got my lowest grade in grad school today. After I'd had a pretty good week. After I've been steadily doing more and more work. Feeling more and more capable of the workload given. Feeling like I "get" more of what I read and the materials we cover.
This grade isn't going to ruin my life or my chance for an A out of the class; it's just disheartening.
I picked my grade up after going to a really inspiring talk about how our genes interact with our environment (by Jay Belsky) and I had/have so many ideas about how I want to try to incorporate gene studies into my thesis and whether or not that's even doable and and and and.
Bad grade.
It's not like I can even go talk to the professor to figure out what went wrong. She told me what went wrong. I know what I have to change. I know my weakness and the only thing I can do now is learn from it.
And try not to let it bring me down. Try to ignore the voice in my head reminding me of how far I still have to go. It's hard... being confident in grad school. On the one hand, you were smart enough to get into grad school. On the other hand, you now know relatively nothing.
Ah, whatev. Back to work.
In the meantime, set backs remind me how far from INVINCIBLE I really am. I got my lowest grade in grad school today. After I'd had a pretty good week. After I've been steadily doing more and more work. Feeling more and more capable of the workload given. Feeling like I "get" more of what I read and the materials we cover.
This grade isn't going to ruin my life or my chance for an A out of the class; it's just disheartening.
I picked my grade up after going to a really inspiring talk about how our genes interact with our environment (by Jay Belsky) and I had/have so many ideas about how I want to try to incorporate gene studies into my thesis and whether or not that's even doable and and and and.
Bad grade.
It's not like I can even go talk to the professor to figure out what went wrong. She told me what went wrong. I know what I have to change. I know my weakness and the only thing I can do now is learn from it.
And try not to let it bring me down. Try to ignore the voice in my head reminding me of how far I still have to go. It's hard... being confident in grad school. On the one hand, you were smart enough to get into grad school. On the other hand, you now know relatively nothing.
Ah, whatev. Back to work.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Big T, Little e
After taking my Big T and Little e to class and workshopping them with the professor and classmates, I've got slightly different but clearer questions. So far...
Big T: How do relationships affect emotional well-being?
Little e: How does the perception of behavioral disparity mediate the relationship between all styles and emotional states?
Now read the post below this, it's more interesting.
Big T: How do relationships affect emotional well-being?
Little e: How does the perception of behavioral disparity mediate the relationship between all styles and emotional states?
Now read the post below this, it's more interesting.
Ok, Here Goes...
Last Wednesday (1/20/10): Finished reading 3 articles, wrote 10 questions based on the readings, attended three classes.
Last Thursday (1/21/10): Attended two classes, prepared lecture for Friday's class, researched for thesis (and meeting with my professor the next day).
Friday (1/22/10): Meeting with professor, lectured, organized homework for the weekend.
Saturday (1/23/10): Read two articles.
Sunday (1/24/10): Read two articles.
Monday (1/25/10): Lectured 3 times, attended one class, read 70 pages, spent 2 hours in a (peer led) book club, finished up homework for methods and met with classmates to review the assignment.
Tuesday (1/26/10): Two classes, read two articles.
Wednesday (1/27/10): Three classes, wrote 10 questions based on readings, finished up two articles, worked on stats homework.
Thursday (today): Two classes, got up early to finish up stats homework, prepared lecture for tomorrow's lecture.
-----
Tomorrow: Lecture, lunch with guest professor, colloquium.
This weekend: Sadly, I'll be reading some more articles. But EVERY OTHER SECOND will be spent doing something mindless. If it involves thinking, count me out. I'm ready for a break.
My favorite thing about all this is that looking back in a few years, I'm sure this week will seem like cake. That's why I'm writing it down, seeing the progress rocks.
Last Thursday (1/21/10): Attended two classes, prepared lecture for Friday's class, researched for thesis (and meeting with my professor the next day).
Friday (1/22/10): Meeting with professor, lectured, organized homework for the weekend.
Saturday (1/23/10): Read two articles.
Sunday (1/24/10): Read two articles.
Monday (1/25/10): Lectured 3 times, attended one class, read 70 pages, spent 2 hours in a (peer led) book club, finished up homework for methods and met with classmates to review the assignment.
Tuesday (1/26/10): Two classes, read two articles.
Wednesday (1/27/10): Three classes, wrote 10 questions based on readings, finished up two articles, worked on stats homework.
Thursday (today): Two classes, got up early to finish up stats homework, prepared lecture for tomorrow's lecture.
-----
Tomorrow: Lecture, lunch with guest professor, colloquium.
This weekend: Sadly, I'll be reading some more articles. But EVERY OTHER SECOND will be spent doing something mindless. If it involves thinking, count me out. I'm ready for a break.
My favorite thing about all this is that looking back in a few years, I'm sure this week will seem like cake. That's why I'm writing it down, seeing the progress rocks.
Friday, January 22, 2010
On Thesis Ideas
I met with my major professor today and we talked about what I'll be doing for my master's thesis. I have an assignment in another class that is directly related to my thesis so I wanted to touch base with him and talk about what I could realistically and interestingly study with the data I'll be working with.
In my methods class we've been discussing research designs, research questions, why we study what we study and how we study what we actually want to study. For Tuesday I've got to come up with a "Big T" and a "Little e." The Big T is a theoretical question that will lead my line of research. It's something I can write many empirical papers on and tie them back into each other to build on what I'm studying. My Little e is the empirical question that I want to ask in my next (thesis) paper.
I went in thinking that I wanted to examine how romantic relationships mediate how a person handles mental health but I think now I'm looking at it a bit differently. Instead of looking at romantic relationships as the starting point, I'll be looking into attachment styles and views of relationship quality as they affect emotional states (namely depression). I'll be able to look at how each partner views the relationship and how those similar/dissimilar views influence each partner's emotional stability. The population that I'll be examining will be around age 21 and I'll have data from when they were around age 19 as well, so I'll probably end up doing some comparison across time. Of course, it'll all probably change some before I'm done.
I've got a lot to read this weekend and a lot of thinking to do about my "Big T" and "Little e" but I'm ready. I'm excited that I've identified what I want to look at... now to figure out how to look at it.
In my methods class we've been discussing research designs, research questions, why we study what we study and how we study what we actually want to study. For Tuesday I've got to come up with a "Big T" and a "Little e." The Big T is a theoretical question that will lead my line of research. It's something I can write many empirical papers on and tie them back into each other to build on what I'm studying. My Little e is the empirical question that I want to ask in my next (thesis) paper.
I went in thinking that I wanted to examine how romantic relationships mediate how a person handles mental health but I think now I'm looking at it a bit differently. Instead of looking at romantic relationships as the starting point, I'll be looking into attachment styles and views of relationship quality as they affect emotional states (namely depression). I'll be able to look at how each partner views the relationship and how those similar/dissimilar views influence each partner's emotional stability. The population that I'll be examining will be around age 21 and I'll have data from when they were around age 19 as well, so I'll probably end up doing some comparison across time. Of course, it'll all probably change some before I'm done.
I've got a lot to read this weekend and a lot of thinking to do about my "Big T" and "Little e" but I'm ready. I'm excited that I've identified what I want to look at... now to figure out how to look at it.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
On Homework
What's the hardest part of grad school, you ask? For me, it's sitting myself down and doing the readings.
Once I get into the reading and have committed to reading, it tends to be pretty easy. Sometimes I struggle with the material (like when reading Marx or Gramsci) but for the most part, it's not too bad, the reading load. What is bad is convincing myself that I should be reading NOW and that reading will, in fact, be enjoyable. So often I spend hours and days avoiding my homework, watching that latest television show, checking my email once more and I've wasted all of the time I could have spent reading doing nothing and now the time that I could be spending lounging or hanging out with friends must be spent reading.
It's all about time management.
You could say that time management's the hardest thing about grad school.
The only person I'm really fighting here is myself.
I think in general I might be getting a bit better at reading ahead of time but I know that I'm still earning a C- at most when it comes to time management, overall. I'm getting better at wanting to do the readings ahead of time but I still end up doing most of it the night or morning before class.
Admitting you have a problem is half the battle, right? Gah, I don't know. Hopefully it gets easier, this making yourself read anytime, anywhere stuff.
Once I get into the reading and have committed to reading, it tends to be pretty easy. Sometimes I struggle with the material (like when reading Marx or Gramsci) but for the most part, it's not too bad, the reading load. What is bad is convincing myself that I should be reading NOW and that reading will, in fact, be enjoyable. So often I spend hours and days avoiding my homework, watching that latest television show, checking my email once more and I've wasted all of the time I could have spent reading doing nothing and now the time that I could be spending lounging or hanging out with friends must be spent reading.
It's all about time management.
You could say that time management's the hardest thing about grad school.
The only person I'm really fighting here is myself.
I think in general I might be getting a bit better at reading ahead of time but I know that I'm still earning a C- at most when it comes to time management, overall. I'm getting better at wanting to do the readings ahead of time but I still end up doing most of it the night or morning before class.
Admitting you have a problem is half the battle, right? Gah, I don't know. Hopefully it gets easier, this making yourself read anytime, anywhere stuff.
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