I started P90X with my sister and it's kicking my ass. It's hardest to get myself motivated to do the workout, but the workout itself is pretty enjoyable, as far as workouts go. I've lost almost 6 pounds, though I feel like I've lost more. My muscles are tighter (my under arm jiggle jiggles less)and my clothes fit nicer.
I read an article for class yesterday about weight loss and body image and it really messed with my mind. AND THEN I went and listened to the author discuss the article and work that it came from for another two hours. Total mind fuck. After it was over I went home to Chase and cried. The article was about men and women who had lost at least 20 pounds and had kept it off for at least three months. The subjects had to have been overweight or obese before losing weight but ended up in the normal weight range. Among other things, the author found that even after individuals lost weight, they had a hard time changing their body image to match their new identity. Another topic that was discussed at length was why individuals chose to lose weight. Responses ranged from wanting to look good for a wedding to wanting to be able to move easier to "needing" to lose weight after an embarrassing event. And lastly! we touched on the body's control system and its maintenance of a certain weight despite the dieter's actions.
So to recap, I got to think about body image issues, why I wanted to (or do want to) lose weight, and what my body wants me to weigh. BLAH. Chase made me feel better though, bringing me back to ground after my journey into my head. Blah. Ashley and I went to see The King's Speech after that and I think I'm over it for now. But still, it's an issue that's been on my mind a lot.
On Linux -
She's been getting hairier and hairier lately. We've wanted to get her groomed for the last two months but have been putting it off. Well! She was groomed on Wednesday and Chase and I are still trying to get used to her new coloring. She keeps getting lighter and lighter as she gets older. My baby's growing up!
Before...
And after!...
On School -
My thesis work is going slower than I initially thought. I had to change my question and the variables I'm looking at because my initial model didn't pan out. My work should be easier this time around but there are a few variables I haven't been able to figure out yet and I hate asking other people for help so often. All this work makes me feel really bad at research. I understand that a lot of it's in my head and I just need to DO STUFF and work through the unease but it's hard. I spent the first year of grad school feeling like I didn't know as much as everyone else and trying to find my place in Athens and as of about April I thought I'd gotten it figured out. I'm going through a bit of a existential crisis again and it's tired. My defense mechanism when I feel vulnerable is to ignore, avoid, or hide from the issue so I've got to push myself to NOT do those things. I watched this video today and it made me feel a bit better. I'll be okay, it's just hard to grow.
On this blog -
I haven't felt very awesome lately. I haven't posted on Facebook or Twitter or here and have a hard time finding my words worthy. I worry about being another one of those girls/guys on Facebook. The ones who post nonsense. When I don't have much to say, I don't say much.
This isn't to say things aren't good. Just that some of the things that impact how often I post online aren't as good as other things. :)
On good things -
I'm enjoying the benefits of being healthy.
I'm walking Linny in addition to doing p90x (3 or 4 times a week).
Linny's cute and fun.
Ashley and I have been out exploring (we went to a cute state park a few weekend's ago). (Pictures of it are on Flickr.)
Chase and I are doing well. We went on a date Friday night and it's been nice to spend quality time with him lately (and we watched a movie tonight)!
I'm learning in school. Even if my thesis isn't all roses and sunshine, it's still going well.
On the super bowl -
Tomorrow we're going over to a friend's house to watch the game and eat unhealthy goodness. It should be lots of fun.
This post made me a bit teary and not sure why. Maybe because the thot of someone as beautiful and smart and confident as you could have a vulnerable side is a little unsettling. Or maybe it's my hormones, or lack thereof.
ReplyDeleteAwww, I'm sorry! How vulnerable I feel waxes and wanes. Such is life, I suppose.
ReplyDeleteGreat post Jess. I have a similar body image / weight loss issue...but it seems my body image is stuck on "I look good" when, in reality, I've put on a lot of weight since this was an accurate statement.
ReplyDeleteI like when you write and what you have to say..and the funny links you sneak in! Deep! :~D