Feelings

This semester is kicking my ass. Kind of.

I'm getting much better at managing my time. I feel like I understand more than I ever have before. I'm doing a lot, and I'm getting it done.

I could have added qualifiers to all of those statements. But I didn't. I'm working to encourage myself and talk positively about myself without contradicting my earlier statement before I've even finished a sentence.

Instead of saying "I'm getting better at managing my time, but I've cut out some things I really miss" it's just "I'm getting better at managing my time." It's not a big change but it's enough to keep me going.

I've needed a cheerleader a lot this semester. I often tell Chase "I can do it" just to hear him echo it back to me. He's started encouraging me by saying "Go go Icallo" which is a play off the phrase "Go go buffalo" from Idle Hands. It's amusing.

I'm taking ONE class next semester. I'm taking a teaching course too but it's much more like a non-intensive seminar so it doesn't really count. I've got a month and some change left with this load. Then I'll be done with this four class crap. I bet I can do it. I can get there.

I signed up for my course load and work load thinking that I'd slacked last spring when I should * have finished my thesis and wanted to prove to myself that I could do a lot, all at once. I wonder if that was a good tactic. Pushing myself to my limit to see what my limit was/is. I suppose we'll find out.

In the meantime I'm going to go read a book for class tomorrow.

*According to my standards. According to the grad department I have until this December to finish and defend it. So technically I'm not behind schedule.